Thursday, May 9, 2019

All Things National


(from 2016)


As readers here know, while respecting local identity and culture, I don’t do national anthems. However, there has been a lot of recent interest in rugby this side of the pond. And - for a day or so, England was out of the World Cup and Wales was still in! So someone sent me a phonetic version of the Welsh National Anthem. It was reportedly used by supporters who - shame, shame - don’t actually know a word of Welsh. It was written by a Welsh poet from Swansea with a good sense of humor - and this is the slightly cleaned up version.

My hen laid a haddock, one hand oiled a flea,
Glad barks and centurions threw dogs in the sea,
My guru asked Elvis and brandish Dan’s flan,
Don’s muddy bog’s blocked up with sand.

Dad! Dad! Why don’t you oil Auntie Glad?
Can oars appear on beer bottle pies?
O butter the hens as they fly.

Devotees of British “culture” and gaffs will remember how not knowing the actual Welsh words harmed the career of a British politician, John Redwood, many moons ago. Appointed as Secretary of State of Wales, he attended some function when they played the national anthem, about which he was obviously clueless, and he desperately tried to mouth along, hoping that no-one would notice. Alas for him, the cameras focussed right up to his mouth and stayed there, and it was a delight on national news for several days.

Yup - my hen laid a haddock indeed.

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